Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize