But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
