Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
this boner is exhausting
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
