I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
