Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
