Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
