I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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