i don't like sucking hair
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
