im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
