Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize