Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
