You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
