Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize