Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
