soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
