Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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