what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
