My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
