Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
