So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
