she takes plan B like it's going out of style
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Girls should come with a carfax report
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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