You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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