I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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