You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
