yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
