once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I came so hard my ears popped.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
