O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
