I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
