Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
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