No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
