it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I currently don't understand fingers.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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