Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
