well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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