I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
me + whiskey = a bad person
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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