I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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