You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
