told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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