I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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