I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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