dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
