i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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