Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
