We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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