Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
