at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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