she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
