I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
