they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
