Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she told me i tasted like america
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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