so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You need a sexual gate keeper
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
