you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
