grandma shit on top of the toilet
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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