Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
