Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize