yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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