I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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