thus making me awesome and them whores
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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