her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
