Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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