dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
